Saturday, June 24, 2006

Fed up now!!

I am fed up now!! I have not heard about the blood results, they said they would only contact me if there was a problem, so I assume that they are all good. I have been feeling really bloated since restarting the metformin, my tummy has swelled up like a balloon and I feel really fat. I may not be pregnant but I look it!! If anyone has any tips on how to deflate the bloated tummy that would be great!! I think if I put a needle in it it will pop like a balloon - no I am not going to try that and I don't recommend anyone else does either!!

I am still waiting to start the next cycle. Unless I get a period by magic we are going to have to hold off the next cycle. My hubby lost his job last month when the company he works for ran out of cash, he has been looking for another job ever since. We are probably going to end up moving etc, when he gets another job, and really cant afford a baby until he gets another job, so until his job situation is resolved things are pretty much on hold. I am frustrated by having to wait so long, it has been about 2 months since my last miscarriage, but I know as soon as I start the cycle that will frustrate me too, counting the days is just a nightmare! Nevermind!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The appointment

Not quite what I expected! The 'hour appointment' lasted about 10 minutes the doctor asked some questions I asked some questions then my hubby and I both had blood tests then we were off! I have been told to restart the metformin (the doctor implied that I should not have stopped it for so long despite being told to do so by the doctor I saw after my last miscarriage), also start aspirin 75mg, and folic acid. I have clomid and provera should a period not start and a higher dose folic acid and progesterone pessaries for once I am pregnant. The blood tests are to check loads of stuff including chromosomal abnormalities, also to see if my blood is too thick in which case I will be given clexane.

Now I am going to wait and try to chill out! I will get the blood results via letter if there is a problem. I am going to wait another 3 weeks for a period then if I don't have one I will start the provera. Here we go again!!

I guess I had hoped for some answers today as to why I have had 3 early miscarriages in a row and yet I knew there may not be any answers. It is entirely possible that I might go on to have a normal pregnancy or to have another miscarriage. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed and keep going! I have to roll with the punches!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Now getting stressed!!

On Wednesday I have my appointment for tests to hopefully find out why I keep having miscarriages. I am getting really fed up with all the waiting, I have no idea what the tests are going to be, how long I will have to wait for results etc! I am also worried they will find something that cant be fixed or find no reason at all! I just want a baby is that really so much to ask for!! Other people seem to pop them out one after another or accidentally get pregnant, but for me after 3 years of trying, fertility treatment and 4 miscarriages I feel totally exhausted by the whole thing! If I had a time machine and could go forward in time to see how things work out (so long as it was good!) then I would maybe be more chilled, but right now it all feels impossible!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Just wanted to say another thank you!

I just wanted to say another thank you to people who have been leaving comments on my blog. I can not reply to them because they go through the blog as anonymous email addresses, so if anyone wants me to reply please attatch an email address I can reply to, or email me direct at junk@fatvat.co.uk It is great to get so many comments, I have been really surprised by the response to my blog, I had thought that I was just a total nutter, but it seems there are lots of people like me out there! Things just don't seem so bad!

Friday, June 02, 2006

A Period!!!!!

I am so proud of myself because a couple of days ago I started my period!!! I have not had one that has not had to be brought on by medication in years!! I am so chuft!

Apart from that everything is pretty shit! I am covered in spots, I have put back on the weight I lost on the low carb diet and jobs and stuff is still very complicated!! I feel like switching my brain off for a little while or just parts of my brain, the parts that worry and give me flash backs. I would like to only hear from care free brain!