Monday, October 31, 2005

The Clock has restarted! Day 1 of Norethisterone

Well that is a catchy drug name!! I have recently returned from a fab holiday in America, we had taken a break from the baby making so it was safe to fly, also for our sanity!! I thought it was going to be hard to stop trying for 6 weeks before the holiday, and the 2 weeks we are away, but the time past quickly!! Who would of thought that if you stop counting every single day time seems to go faster!! It is making me giggle typing at the moment because while I was away I bought a 'Doogie Houser' box set (which is pure cheese! - I love it!!) and at the end of each episode he does his personal journal on the computer, which is basically a blog! It is great, just what you need to recover from jet lag!

Before we went away I had an appointment with my consultant- who although is still brilliant seemed to be rushing this time, I think he was running a bit late. Anyway, since by the time I had taken the third dose of provera that failed to bring on a period, he changed that to another drug - Norethisterone which I have to take 10mgs of twice a day for 5 days to start my period, then on days 2-6 of my cycle I am taking Clomid 100mgs, I am also still taking Metformin 850mgs twice a day every day forever!

I am feeling a little confident this time, before I went away I was really miserable and sure nothing will work ever, but I think it is a bit of a defense mechanism, because I was so sure that it was going to work the first time on the 50mgs, it is a bit smack in the face, stomach, head, legs, arms, chest etc(!) when it fails to even trigger a period let alone make you pregnant! Now I am feeling a little more optimistic, but also a little cautious. This is not a good time of year for me and my husband, 2 years ago around about now I was pregnant with my first son Harry, it was a brilliant time that ended too soon when I was 19 weeks pregnant, just a week before Christmas after a car accident, he was killed. Then last Christmas we thought we would give a miss as it has so many sad memories connected to it, but then a week before Christmas I found I was pregnant for the second time, so I put up the Christmas tree feeling like we had something to celebrate, but a few days before Christmas I started to bleed, only a little, then on Christmas eve I had a miscarriage. So Christmas is not a good time, this year we are opting out again, until we have a little person to share Christmas with. I really want to get pregnant again, but am worried that I will have another miscarriage as Christmas seems almost cursed for us.

I want to thank the people who have read my blog and sent me emails, it really means a lot to me. Although I use this mostly to spout off at it is good to hear from people who read it and think, 'yep I know that feeling' too.