Plodding along!

Things are alright really, just feel as though I am plodding along. There feels like little point to anything when we are not even trying to conceive, it is so frustrating! Only 2 more weeks before I can start the medication again, but at the moment that is stressing me out! The doctor only prescribed the provera for once a day instead of twice a day like I was having. Also the provera had stopped working so he had given me a different drug instead. I have had a frustrating week of talking to his secretary. I phoned Monday, she said she would check my notes, then she phoned me back to say what was written, but he had not written how many times a day to take the provera in my notes. So she asked a random doctor who knew nothing about me and told her to tell me that it should work taking it once a day. She said if it did not work I should call back and get my doctor to prescribe something else. I told her I was not prepared to risk it not working since it would take 19 days of my already very long cycle to find out if it would work, then I would have to wait another 19 days plus however long it would take to get another prescription. Time is a really big issue for me at the moment, things are just not happening fast enough! She said if I wanted she would speak to my doctor for me, I said yes please since that is why I phoned in the first place! On Thursday I called her again since I still had not heard anything. She said she had not seen him, but would probably see him that afternoon and that she would call me back. I still have not heard back from her. It is really frustrating it feels like everything is a fight, but I am running out of steam.

I have been back to work several times this week, It was not too bad facing people. Only one person said something silly and instead of me being quiet and stewing on it I let rip and she then saw how silly her remark was. She said 'Never mind you are only young.' to which I replied - actually I am pushing thirty and it gets even harder to conceive as you get older and the risks are increased, also I am clinically infertile'. That made me feel better. I normally bite my tongue worried that if I flid I will lose control and either go totally over the top nuts or cry! But I was quite well controlled.

Feel a little like I am on auto-pilot at the moment.