Bad news - But what is new!

Things have gone very wrong! On Friday I started to bleed, it was only old blood to begin with, but I still had a feeling of imminent doom! We went to the clinic at the hospital and had a scan. It showed that the dot they scanned last week had another dot inside which seemed promising. They gave me a whole list of reasons why I might bleed other then another miscarriage.

On Friday evening the bleeding had stopped and I thought that maybe this time we were going to be lucky, but on Saturday morning, it re-started along with cramps, by Saturday evening I was bleeding heavily, fresh blood. I still hoped that things might be alright. But this morning I passed the sac that was the dot on the screen I had seen. I know that is it, I have had another miscarriage.

I feel really angry and upset. Not just for me but for my husband who I know will be the worlds best Dad and for our parents who are desperate to be grandparents. I feel like I have let everyone down. I know it is not my fault but it does not stop me from feeling totally useless.

So we are back to square one again. I go back to the clinic tomorrow and will ask about how long we need to wait before I can restart the fertility treatment again. Life is so unfair.