Top five things not to say to a couple who have just had a miscarriage!

I feel it is my duty to compose this list of things not to say based on the totally stupid things that people have said to us after our past 3 miscarriages. Sadly most of these stupid remarks have come from hospital staff who frankly should know better!

What not to say

1. Tell you the statistics of how common it is to have a miscarriage in early pregnancy (so you not only stress out about the miscarriage you have just have but all the pregnancies after that should you dare try again!)

2. 'Only 3 miscarriages' (my response to that should have been - how many is a good number?!)

3. Better luck next time (thanks!)

4. It obviously was not meant to be (helpful!)

5. There will be other babies (My response should have been -actually that might not be the case, if you had bothered to read my notes you will see that not only is this my third pregnancy but I have a problem actually conceiving and we have been trying for a baby for 3 years)

Although there is another favorite that should be added to this list. It is the answer to the question - how long should I wait before we start trying again. The answer is always to wait until after your next period. I have not had a period that has not been as a result of a miscarriage or brought on by medication in well over three years, so are they suggesting I wait three years!!! I wish people would not be so silly and think before they speak and read your history before they answer your questions with the response they have been programmed with to tell everybody regardless of their circumstances. When I compared this last pregnancy to my first two I was told 'no two pregnancies are the same' so why don't they take that on board when they speak to pregnant women that no two are the same, nor are their circumstances so to come up with responses that are the same for every women seems totally ridiculous!

I have an appointment with the consultant on Wednesday (which is good since despite asking to see a doctor today and being told I could see one, I was then not give the opportunity to and instead spoke with a crap nurse who said all the wrong stuff and just told me to see my GP, despite the fact that I would get to the GP's before the letter from the hospital was even typed out!), it was meant to be for a scan, but the receptionist said it would be alright to talk to the doctor then. I am sure he will be more helpful and will tell me how long I need to wait before I start popping the pills again! I just want to start over now, before we lose our bottle and totally give up!